Sunday, January 22, 2012

Sometimes you lose things, then you get them back.

My relationships over the years have been a series of "If you love it, let it go..." moments.  I have let them go, and none of them have ever come back.  Until now.

D and I started talking again on Christmas day.  It was a freak occurrence in which I messaged him a snarky reply to something he had posted on facebook, and he messaged me right back.  We ended up talking this way into the wee hours of the morning, even though he had to work early the next day.

Sometimes, you need to take a step back from a situation to see the good in it.  Sometimes, you have to walk away in order to understand the issues that were there.  Sometimes, you have to open your mouth and say exactly what it is you're thinking and feeling, regardless of who it might hurt or how it might make you look to other people.

We both made mistakes.  Nothing that was done was unforgivable.  I think the time apart may have been the best thing that could ever have happened to us at that point in time.  I was able to find myself, better myself, learn to love myself.  I am walking into whatever this may become with open eyes.

Sometimes, I can feel the universe shift a little, realign its course, set something into motion.

I never thought being able to kiss him again would be an option.  It makes my day to hear from him first thing in the morning.  It makes me smile to remember all of the good that was there, is still there, while being able to alter some of that bad crap into something more, better.

So I guess what I'm trying to say here is; I can't wait to see what this next chapter may bring.  I am excited for the endless possibilities, and for having a man back in my life who meant so much to me.

Sometimes, the things you stop chasing, end up finding you.

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