I have to say, this has been an extreme year of change. Two pretty big break-ups, Aiden's father walking out of our lives, followed by all the court dates and paperwork that it takes to revoke parental rights, weight loss and finding some of my inner confidence, and probably more than anything else, learning to love myself a little. Exercise has become my drug of choice. If I'm sad, mad, frustrated, lost, it's what I turn to. I didn't manage to eat as well, or sleep as well as I would have liked to ALL year, but for the most part I've learned a lot to put into better practice in the new year.
- lose 40 lbs. this is less than a pound a week. this is doable.
I lost 25. But more than anything else, I managed to NOT gain it back over November and December. Last year I managed to gain back 15 during the holidays.
- go one full month without television.
Not continuously, no. We went nearly a week and a half this last May with minimal television while on vacation, and since the beginning of the school year, I've been enacting the no television rule one day out of the week. This is something we need to work on.
- continue to practice "no fat/ugly talk" with myself.
I have my moments. November served as my "learn to love myself" month, and even through all of my flaws and all of my mistakes, and everything that I would love to CHANGE about myself, I realized that I am all I've got. It matters to me more than it matters to everyone else, and even though I haven't been able to love the WHOLE me, just yet, I am able to find bits and pieces that I find absolutely amazing.
- be a positive inspiration to my son. this basically translates to not yelling as much.
I still yell too much. I nitpick on little things that probably really don't matter. He's a GOOD boy. He knows how much I love him, how much I cherish him, and that I would do anything in the world for him. He has developed a love of reading that I only can hope will continue as he gets older. He is caring and kind and gentle...
- organize!
*laughs* it's better this year than last. I need to practice the de-hoarding better. Get rid of things I don't need, don't use, and have no real value. Things do not equal happiness.
- make it through another Christmas without going into the red!
Total and unequivocal WIN! I spent more this Christmas than I have in the last 8 years, but I still have a substantial amount of money in my savings account, I have been able to pay all of my bills and not pick and choose in order to make ends meet for the holidays. It's such a terrific feeling to not have to walk into the new year wondering how we're going to make it to the next paycheck.
It has been an amazing year. Through all of the heart break, the trials and tribulations, there has also been endless amounts of joy. My sister's engagement. My parents buying and cultivating the property next door into a wonderful garden wonderland. Aiden having an MRI and coming out scott free. All of us with our health. I have fallen in love, I have forged strong, tight bonds with my closest of friends. I LAUGHED.
There is nothing in this world that can't be made better by simply throwing more love at it.
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