Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Beautiful Boy

Being a mom is hard.  It's not glamorous in the least.  For the first two years you get puked on, and pooped on, and you barely have time to even take a shower, let alone do anything with your hair.  You grow your hair out just so that you can pull it back into a ponytail and forget about it.  Tack onto that the fact that I've been a single mother from the first day of my son's life, up until now, when he's closer to 8 than 7,  AND that he was born with bilateral clubfoot and that up until the age of 4 was either in casts or braces, and you have got a WHOLE LOT of non-glamorous moments.

I will never claim to be the perfect mother.  I know I'm not.  I yell too much.  I let him sit in front of the TV more than I know he should.  I expect too much, and have a lot of rules and behaviors which are non-negotiable.  I work too much, cook too little, and let him eat WAY too many chicken nuggets.

Through all of this, he is still the highlight of my life.  My most amazing accomplishment that was never planned.  So, here's something a little fun that I thought up...

The most important things that I have learned from my 7 year old.

Bugs are cool.  Especially if they are dead.

Brushing your teeth is way more fun when you're allowed to do it in front of the television.

Any sort of rumbling, or squeaking sound made in the grocery store is automatically assumed to be a fart, and mom it has come from you.  And it has to be announced very loudly.

There is no color, in the history of colors, nor will there ever be a color, that is cooler than the color RED.  Because blood is red, and blood is cool.

When you die, the best animal to be reincarnated as would be the American Badger.

River monsters.  End of sentence.

Watermelon candy is delicious.

Poisonous bugs/snakes/fish/animals that are native to other continents and possibly other periods of time, can still get us. No, I'm serious.  They can.

You can go to eat at one of the best restaurants in town, and STILL only eat macaroni and cheese.  For $7.50.

Onions and pickles are gross.  Broccoli and bananas are delicious.  And candy.  Candy is delicious.

Topics such as money and weight are not forbidden conversation.

Elmo is for babies.

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