Friday, May 6, 2011

Don't waste your time on jealousy, sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind, the race is long and in the end it's only with yourself.

I don't normally look back at the day of my high school graduation as a joyous experience.  It was stressful.  There were family members that had flown in from all over the country, mouths to feed, clothes to buy, photos to take.  It was a very busy day, and pretty much all I wanted to do the whole time was be done with it and just hang out and drink beer with my friends.

The university had its graduation today.  Two of my friends are in the class of 2011.  I am so happy for them, but at the same time, so jealous.  I end up in this dark hole of depression because I get so MAD at myself for some of the decisions I have made. 

Don't get me wrong, I am pretty happy with the place I have landed at for the moment, but I can't help but beat myself up over my own laziness and stupidity when it came to what should have been the beginning of the rest of my life.  I wouldn't change any of it, but I wish things could be different.

Enough of my sobbing, on with the show.

2 comments:

  1. LADY! You are a mom. You are raising a man! That is HARDLY lazy or stupid! You better quit beating yourself up- that is a much braver path and you're rocking the hell out of it.

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  2. Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. I, too, entered college right after graduation. 30 years later, I graduated with my B.A. I have learned more from life and working than I ever learned from a college classroom. I know you have aspirations for yourself, and you will fulfill them at a time that works for you and your wonderful little boy. Love you with all my heart. ~May~

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