July has taken my breath away.
I began the month on a boat, in the middle of a lake, watching fireworks with a man who had his arm draped casually around my back, his hand on my hip. I cultivated new relationships, rekindled old friendships, and stepped outside of my comfort zone in a way that I haven't for a long time.
I allowed myself to melt a little. I allowed the vulnerability to come to the surface. Something I thought J had taken away, and made me cold. I remembered that I am not cold.
I am told at least daily how much I've changed physically. Sometimes by people I know, sometimes by near strangers. While hearing it encourages me to continue doing what I have been doing, it also makes me more attune to the "invisible fat girl" that I was.
JULY 2019 GOALS RECAP
Lose 4 lbs. Be okay with losing 4 lbs.
- This one is a HUGE WIN! I lost 11.6 lbs.
Go to the gym 20 times
- WIN! I went 29 times. Several of those I went twice in one day.
Take new measurements.
- WIN! I actually took them this afternoon. The last ones I took were the end of March, shortly after starting the keto diet. Since then I am down 3 inches in my neck, 6 inches in my bust, 4.5 inches in my waist, and 4 inches in my hips. No wonder my clothes don't fit.
Finish two books.
- WIN! I finished The Good Girl, and just this morning finished The Outsider.
Buy new workout shoes.
- FAIL! Any and all not necessary expenses have been suspended for the time being. I will make my old shoes work for now.
Make a dentist appointment.
- FAIL! See above. Not necessary at this point in time.
1 week vegetarian keto
- FAIL! Keto is hard. Trying to get my fat and protein without meat was too hard and was causing undue stress. I gave up two days in.
Organize my closet
- FAIL! I am making progress, though. Currently, half of my closet is draped and folded on my couch, so that's something, right?
Stretch nightly.
- WIN! Maybe not nightly, but definitely daily.
AUGUST 2019 GOALS
- Lose 4 lbs. Be okay with losing 4 lbs.
- Go to the gym 20 times.
- Less cardio, more thoughts on strength.
- Finish two books.
- If you can't change it, let it go.
- Finish closet organizing.
- Take progress photos
- Stop kicking myself for things I cannot control
- If it's meant to be, it will be. Let it be.
