Saturday, January 21, 2017

it's always darkest before the dawn...

I am so thankful.  Beyond thankful.  I am thankful to have lived in this country, under its leadership over the last eight years.  I am thankful a man who I fully backed was elected President of the United States of America, not once, but twice. 

I am thankful that my son, as of 2010, was able to have healthcare coverage that I paid for, as he no longer fell into the category of pre-existing condition.  I am thankful that when I lost my job, and I lost my health benefits, that in 2014, I finally had a way to get myself coverage.  

Very few things suck in this world more than a $250 yeast infection.  Yeah.  $250.  One office visit.  

I am thankful that I have a family who aligns with me politically so that I don't have to dread holidays, or events.  I am thankful that no one in my family would ever disown me even if we had those differences.

I am thankful that in 2013 I was able to go back to school.  I was able to qualify for Pell Grants, and financial aid, and I found what I was really meant to do in this life of mine.

I am thankful that in 2015, I not only was able to hold and love my niece for the first time, but I was able to find a career.  Employment doing what I love with amazing men and women who are working toward a common goal of helping other people.  I am so thankful that I was born to be a helper.  

I am thankful that this coming year I am going to be able to take another step forward with my little family, and buy a house.  Not just buy, but build, with our own hands.  I am thankful we will be able to help others, too, in their pursuit to build and own a home.  

I am also terrified.  In the last eight years, so much progress has been made. I do not live under the delusion that Obama was the Messiah.  I mean... wait.  Okay yes I do.This man brought the first president of African-American descent into the WHITE House.  And after eight years, he still didn't take away your guns, he didn't enact Sharia law, he didn't force women to get abortions, and he didn't unplug the machines of the terminally ill.  

What he did, was gave us hope.  More than anything that's what we needed, to be able to hope that this could, that this WOULD be better.  And it has been.  Nothing is ever perfect and everything changes.  But me and my loved ones are still side by side, healthy, happy, able to get by.

I am afraid that tomorrow I will wake up and the first strike against me is that I'm a woman.  Second strike, a democrat woman.  Third, single mother.  Fourth, pro choice.  But what it really comes down to, is what is between my legs, right?  Gotta grab me by the pussy and show me how things really are and what men really get to control in this great nation of ours.  

My mother and I made mid morning plans to go to lunch together for a sort of mother/daughter day.  We sat down, ordered, and I mentioned to her that I wished we had gone to the Women's march in Lincoln.  She said she wished we had, too.  We decided to get our food to go, and went on a two hour road trip, making it to Lincoln right around the time the march was starting.  We quickly realized that it was a lot bigger than we had anticipated it being.  We ended up in a crowd of several thousand women, and men, and children, and every color and creed and back ground.  

People had signs, supporting those things they found the most precious in their lives.  My favorite was a sign that said REVOLUTIONS are for PUSSIES!  the EVOL was reversed and written in red.  There were the "I support Planned Parenthood" signs.  We chanted, my favorite of which was "Show me what democracy looks like.... THIS IS WHAT DEMOCRACY LOOKS LIKE!"  

We shut down a street.  We did it with great love, and zero violence.  We were inclusive, and supportive, and surrounded.

At these events, I am able to truly find myself, and this is where I am home.

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