2019 Goals recap, 2020 Goals - welcome to a new decade

2019 GOALS:

-lose:

• 50 lbs.  I am keeping this relatively low, but also not going to short change myself.  With the changes I have made recently, I don't think this is too hard of a number to shoot for at less than a pound a week.
• WIN!  In total I lost 78.8 lbs.  This comes out to over a third of my body weight.  In truth, I lost all of this in about 11 months, as I haven't lost anything in over a month now.  I haven't shared numbers up until this point.  In January 2019, I weighed in at 233 lbs.  As of my lowest weight, I currently weigh 154.2 lbs.
• negative self-talk
• This is always a double edged sword.  I feel as though there are certain days that I do better at this than others.  I feel as though this last year there was definitely less negative self-talk than in previous years.
• toxic people
• Mixed.  I did manage to cut one very toxic person out of my life, though he still tries from time to time to regain contact.  Unfortunately, I added in another that I am trying to break free of.
• excuses
• WIN.  I never bit off more than I could chew.  I made goals and most of them I stuck to.  Moving forward...

-gain:

• strength
• WIN!  But different than I had envisioned.  I didn't do strength training like I wanted to, but in slimming down, I gained muscle I never knew existed.
• flexibility
• WIN!  see above.  Not in the way that was planned, but gained all the more.
• endurance
• WIN!  I can now run a 9 minute mile.  I can run for longer periods of time.  I have a difficult time getting my heart rate over 150.
• confidence in myself
• WIN!  Through the roof.

- read 24 books, start to finish.

• FAIL!  I read a total of 9 start to finish.  I started probably 10 that I never finished.  Other activities, and lack of concentration were my barriers here.

-continue to make better food choices.  (I've been seriously considering giving Keto a try, but I need guidance... anyone around to help me?)

• Keto has been hands down the best thing that has ever happened to me health-wise.  I want to continue with it until I hit my goal weight (140 lbs), and then I'd like to move to a more low-card, paleo diet.  I'd love to be able to start eating fruit again on the regular.

-laugh, loudly, and so hard that I snort... on a regular basis.

• Definitely need more of this in my life.  I feel as though a lot has slipped through my fingers this last year, as I have been so internally focused that a lot of other things fell to the ground.  I've managed to stay in decent touch with some friends, but have completely lost contact with others.  I need more laughter in my life.

-remind the people I love how much they mean to me, and regularly.

• Tentative WIN!  We can always do better with this, but I think I did more than previously.

-continue to get a handle on my finances and start saving, even if it's small, it's something.

• WIN!? My savings account currently has $154.08 in it.  Which is more than it had last year... It's not what I wanted, but it's something.

2019 was a year of change.  Physically, mentally, emotionally.  I gained more self-esteem than I ever knew existed.  I put myself out there in ways I haven't for close to a decade.  I fell in love with myself, and my body.  I love the way it moves and the things it is capable of.  I know appearance isn't everything.  I know that my body is simply the shell that I inhabit, but it helps when your shell is carved and molded in the way you picture it.  Or at least is in the process of getting there.

I told myself that I had no plans to date this year.  And I didn't plan to.  Some things just fell out of thin air, and I let them happen.  I reconnected with an old friend, who over the last six months has reshaped my world.  It's simple and uncomplicated, and right now I think that's exactly what the two of us need.  I also met and have dealt with new friends, old friends, old acquaintances, and have had mixed feelings and signals from all of them.  I need to learn when to walk away.  I need to learn to listen to people when they tell me who they are.  

An old friend once described me as a "forever person".  My best friend, Linda, on New Years
Eve described me as someone who is all in, always.  She is correct.  I am my mother's child.  I want to feed you, and care for you, and make sure you're comfortable when in my presence.  If I care for you, I will drop nearly anything and everything to be there for you.  I rarely expect it in return.  I rarely get it in return.  I NEED to stop making people priorities who treat me as if I'm optional.  So... I guess here we go, what I want for 2020.

2020 GOALS:

-lose:

• 20 lbs.  This is less than 2 lbs a month.  Totally realistic.
• toxic people - this includes new people who may come into my life with red flags blazing.  Let them go.  
• clutter - first and foremost old clothes that no longer fit.  You will never wear them again, donate, throw away, get rid of the shit you do not need.  You will feel better when you do.
• excuses
• the desire to "fix" people.  I am only responsible for myself and my choices.  If someone is broken, it is not up to me to repair them.  Be there if they ask, but don't shoulder all of the blame when and if they are unwilling or unable to be the person you see them as.
• The thought that everything has to be "perfect" in order to be happy.

-gain:

• strength - in all aspects.  Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.  
• flexibility - in all aspects. See above.
• respect for myself.  Know my limits, set boundaries and stick to them.  This does not make you a bitch.  This means you are strong and not willing to let people walk all over you.
• confidence in myself - in all aspects.

- read 12 books.  I'm setting the number low this year, as this will allow me time for other activities, and feeling less pressure.

- Go do something fun once a month.  Movies, pedicure, out to the bar to play pool or darts with friends.  Do something for me.

- decrease needless spending, and SAVE.  Things do not buy happiness.

- LESS SOCIAL MEDIA - consider a month or more blackout of FB.

- Less reliance on text messaging.  Try to have actual phone conversations more.  Don't live my life moment to moment waiting for someone to reply to me.

- Try to find one new recipe a week to make for dinner.

- laugh.  Hard.  Like no one is watching.

- love. Hard. Like no one is watching.  From my fingertips to my toes.
- express gratitude.
- more sun, more water... more life.

I will try to get January 2020 goals up sometime today or tomorrow.  I can't believe we're already on day 2 and I am just now getting to this.

<3 Sadie